Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The words in bold

Satisfy us with your love in the morning.
And we will live this day in joy and praise.

It's hard to remember to say the words in bold. In most of my time spent in more formal worship, I say the plain words. Usually they are words I have crafted or at least organized for the setting. I know what I meant when I put them together. I know I want them to be heard, how they relate to what's coming next. I think about how I will read them to set the tone, what inflection will add to their meaning. They have an "L" right by them, and that "L" means me. The leader. The one in charge of getting everyone where we are going together. It's a hard role to shake, even when I don't necessarily want it (or carry it) in every setting. It's hard to remember to read the words in bold.

But sometimes I have to, and sometimes I get to. I think I need to more often. Because I don't do it often I think I sometimes forget that while I have some leadership responsibilities in some settings and while I am the leader in some groups, I am not always the leader. I need to be led, too.

Here at CREDO someone said this morning, actually it was read to us from p. 14 of The Unnecessary Pastor by Eugene Peterson that as pastors we can't take the leadership away from Christ. That hit me. I think I try to do that. I think I try to do that because listening for Christ, discerning, Christ is hard work. And it's risky. How will I know when we're following and when we're just pretending to follow? It feels very different to let God lead in my own life than to let God lead in my ministry and in our church. There are more people who are effected. There are more people who might be hearing God's voice. There are more opinions, there is more at stake, there are more people who can get hurt if things don't work out. I'm very willing to fail in my own endeavors, but letting other people down, leading them in something that fails, that's scarier.

But we can't take the leadership away from Christ. I can't follow him in just some areas of life and not others - -especially I can't leave his leadership out of my ministry and my leadership in the church. I think I run my vocation on my own steam, and that's not going to work for long. I already think it's petering out. I don't mean I'm burning out, but I'm seeing we can all only grow so far on my excitement, my vision, my ideas. The spirit has to come from something deeper than me. The leadership has to come from Christ.

It's time to read the bold print.

1 comment:

marciglass.com said...

Good reminder for all of us. Thanks for sharing.