This week has been kind of a mess for me in the running department. I have had the synod meeting and other conflicts that knocked me off my regular schedule. I have ended up one day short in my week of Couch to 5K. I have this obsession when I am trying to be committed to something to make sure I do each and every little step. The problem is that I need to keep progressing or I will drop it all together. I know myself. I know I can't let that happen.
I think maybe tomorrow I need to just skip the last day of the last week (3 25 minute runs) and just move on to the next week (3 28 minute runs). My 5K is only 2 weeks away, and if I lose another week I'll never get there. I seems kind of scary to just go on, but I think I need to in order to keep up.
I can't believe how close it is. I can't believe I'm almost doing it. It makes me wonder if maybe I did have the ability when I was younger. I was so convinced that I was a big, un-athletic, lazy couch dweller. Really. The message playing in my head was that I could never be physically fit; I would never be pretty in THAT way. I would never have the ability to move and be healthy and in shape.
But now I'm doing it and maybe I could have all along. I'm thrilled to be finding that out, but also a little sad. It makes me wonder if I could have or should have tried harder. I doesn't do me any good to think about it now, but it makes me wonder if my experience would have been different, better even.